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Unconditional Love

Updated: Sep 23, 2021

I looked up the definition of unconditional love, Wikipedia states it is know as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. I could search the whole world over and I would have to wonder how many have this level of love for someone. In a fact, I would like to take a poll to see how many would say they have experienced this type of love. Love is such a simple word, but it has so many facets and levels that can not fit in the parameters of one definition. Love comes with good and bad. People get married and take vows to love each other for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until they die. I have spoken these words, but I wasn’t able to live up to their meaning with my husband and we divorced. Exploring the meaning of love within myself, transforms my capacity to love and to truly understand the meaning of commitment. Relationships can cause some very painful moments in time, but also some very good ones too. At some point in the relationship, it is possible to drift into moments of hatred cultivating feelings of anger resentment and frustration. Understand that all is not lost, you can experience a new level of appreciation and respect for each other.

Have you ever felt the spirit of someone's presence when they weren't around? When you love someone, that feeling doesn't leave when they are absent. This is what I call the "spiritual connection of love". It's possible to enter a new realm of spiritual connection that enables you to communicate without words. Kind of like those moments when you know your loved one is mad at you but they never said a word to acknowledge their emotions. The simplest remedy sometimes is to ignore what your feeling and find strength to walk away. In these times, decipher if the source of the negativity is habitual, toxic or manipulative. Then if its necessary to permanently detach from any form of abuse. If shifting the blame makes everything your fault, understand the minuscule tactics of abusive behaviors.

So in the middle of it, detach your personal emotions and redirect them inwardly. You might discover the need to heal from previous relationships to prevent carrying over issues. Learning how to cope with negative behaviors can create a wall to be built around your heart. It takes courage to identify, reevaluate, change, and implement new positive practices of love. In time, you will appreciate the time you invested to heal and to see yourself wholly. By facing your own hurts, you can address what hurt you and move forward in peace. I recommend finding a deeper love for God and trusting He will carry you through. In these seasons, true love can be found. You begin to value your strength, courage and tenacity by refusing to allow negativity to consume you.

A portion of love focuses on your own ability to lift your head and continue being whole and complete independently. You can't truly love someone until you've learned how to love yourself. In my previous marriage, I saw the results of my pain slowly start to shape the beliefs of love in my children. I purposed in my heart, that it was imperative that I stop the trauma from recycling in my children. I took time to speak with them regarding their emotional trauma concerning the divorce. I felt it was necessary to apologize to them for creating sores in their heart. I also was provoked to acknowledge the power of my words expressed in moments of anger towards their father. Not realizing I was planting seeds of hurt and calling forth the same patterns into my children's lives. As a mother, I wanted to heal them from this level of pain by helping them to discover their own. Being broken you start to realize how you hurt others. It's not always an intentional act, sometimes its a coping act or defensive action. But the acknowledgement of truth experienced in this kind of relationship drove me back to my OWN mirror. Even though the shift of blame was placed on me, it MADE me SEE ME!

The pressures of love's challenges can push you down on your knees crying out to God. It's in these places where spiritual elevation occurs causing an awakening in your mind, body and soul. When you reach this place, there is no blame towards others, only a sense of gratitude. You have gained the acceptance of yourself, your mistakes, your flaws and know how to improve in your life. As you begin to usher in self-love you begin to open your heart and the mind to receive true love. Loving unconditionally doesn’t always mean it will be easy or without hard days and trials, it means you don’t give up! It means you stand by one another even when things are at their worst and you want to throw in the towel. A love that leaps over boundaries has the power to stand in places where love encounters the most opposition. A love that can hurt you but come back and repair what was broken is rare! This type of love isn’t built overnight but overtime, it is tested, tried and if it never leaves because it is TRUE LOVE! Not only is it true it is the epitome of unconditional love with the highest levels of sacrifice to put the other person first.

All the stipulations that external forces place upon the relationship are now obsolete because the love has been proven above measure. Nothing can bind this kind of love. This is the type of love so many people dream to have in their lives. We can easily speak the words I love you, but what does that mean in action. Love covers a multitude of sins, only when you choose to continue loving. I write this with tears streaming down my face because I’ve felt every emotions on so many different levels but somehow came back to the center of who I am. I explored everything externally but returned back to the core of who I Am. I still choose to see the good over the bad. I still choose to love rather than hate. I still choose to love God with everything and I still choose to believe in True Love.

When you love someone you don’t try to change them, you focus on building them in the places where they are weak. Unconditional love says I see all your flaws but I’m here supporting you to grow stronger and to be better not bitter. Unconditional love says I don’t want to humiliate you, but I want to cover all your short comings, your hurts, your disappointments because I want the best part of you. Unconditional love must be defined overtime, experiences, tough times, good times and it must weather it ALL and in the END still be LOVE.

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